I Am Beautiful

It's been a rough day. Actually, it's been a great week. But my ex is being a dickhead and I don't deserve it. In response, here are all of the reasons I'm incredible and, thus, much too good for him.

1. Je parle français.

2. My hair? Fabulous.

3. I've made Dean's List every semester.

4. I'm saving my virginity.

5. I'm one of the only girls who can wear four-inch heels daily without complaint.

6. I've lost 17 lbs since last summer.

7. My boobs are perfect. I'm a perky 34C.

8. I can juggle a double major.

9. After I graduate, I'm going to Princeton.

10. John Mayer totally saw me in Lousiville...