Humbling Experience

Saturday morning I woke up with a hangover from two Smirnoffs and a plate of nachos. How the hell I got hungover from the Smirnoffs is baffling, considering I wasn't even buzzed the night before. Nonetheless, I felt shitty late into the day. I couldn't stomach much but forced myself to eat anyway. While I was getting ready to go out to dinner with my family, Caitlin my roommate called me and said she just looked at our apartment and it was a wreck. It was so filthy that there were roaches.

Upon hearing this, I was pissed. The landlord knew we were moving in the next day. I went to dinner thoroughly aggravated. Caitlin tried to find us another home, but with no luck. I told Pierre my predicament. He knew I was upset so he called me. It was nice to hear his voice despite the fact that I couldn't understand most of what he was saying. His accent is strong and my phone reception was terrible. He kept telling me how much he wanted me and how he was still going to take care of me despite the distance. I felt better. I really did.

We met in Asheville this morning to see our options. When we got to the apartment, the carpet had been ripped out. They promised us new furniture, light fixtures, fumigation, and touch up paint.

By this time, I was upset. I just moped around the rest of the day, thoroughly disappointed. I didn't want to live there and considered buying a one-bedroom apartment, but prices for one-bedrooms are typically ridiculous. I'd also have to rent all of my furniture and pay for cable, internet, and utilities. Fuck.

On top of that, someone found out about me and Pierre and told me I was crazy for being exclusive with a guy overseas. She said it in the most loving way possible. I know she meant well, only giving me advice. But if anyone knows me, they know that I don't follow advice. I always do what I want. Nonetheless, her comment hurt and I started rethinking this whole relationship. These doubts made me even more miserable. Why is it so hard to follow your heart?

For the remainder of the day my roommates and I drove all over Asheville trying to find a place to live. No luck. I eventually called my dad and he advised that I stay at the current apartment. They were giving us brand new furnishings and flooring, so it shouldn't be that bad.

This entire weekend my stomach has been in knots. I have constantly felt ill from stress. I guess my life has been pretty incredible lately. Maybe this is just a humbling experience.