Or the account of my decline into barbarism (and all of the lovely, mad people who helped me do it).

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I Am Beautiful

It's been a rough day. Actually, it's been a great week. But my ex is being a dickhead and I don't deserve it. In response, here are all of the reasons I'm incredible and, thus, much too good for him.

1. Je parle fran├žais.
2. My hair? Fabulous.
3. I've made Dean's List every semester.
4. I'm saving my virginity.
5. I'm one of the only girls who can wear four-inch heels daily without complaint.
6. I've lost 17 lbs since last summer.
7. My boobs are perfect. I'm a perky 34C.
8. I can juggle a double major.
9. After I graduate, I'm going to Princeton.
10. John Mayer totally saw me in Lousiville...

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